February 14th, 2023

Was eating chicken wings with Patrick Bateman from American Psycho. For some reason I was eating the chicken wings whole, bones and cartilage and all, and he was staring in complete abject horror.

January 31st, 2023

The British monarchy was abolished, and Canada replaced the king and queen faces on coins with Weird Al. Notably they made a giant $40 coin that had jewels embedded into it.

January 15th, 2023

A gang of dudes smeared cream cheese all over my lawn as some sort of prank, and I kept trying to tell people over the phone but I couldn't figure out how to say cream cheese, so I kept saying shit like "they're putting cheem cheems on my lawn." It was extremely stressful in the dream but super funny the millisecond I woke up.

December 22nd, 2022

I was at a Chuck E Cheese and playing some sort of competitive game against a child. I won said game, and noone was impressed so I left the Chuck E Cheese and sobbed violently on a curb.

December 17th, 2022

I was driving to get to a store, but couldn't find any parking spots. I drove in circles for what felt like hours before stopping my car at a random stop sign, in the middle of the street, and walked away. It caused a massive pileup but I didn't particularly care for some reason.

November 24th, 2022

I purchased three fully grown horses, but didn't consider making any room for them. They'd all stand ominously and perfectly still in my bedroom. At some point I tried making space for them in my backyard shed but they just sort of stood around outside.

June 23rd, 2022

I'm in some sort of low-cost apartment, quite far in the future. I have a wife, I remember hugging her and she felt warm. I woke up rather upset.

June 13th, 2022

Again, instead of being a human I am some human-animal hybrid, in this case a horse. Somehow I end up stuck in the middle of a gunfight. I pick up a weapon off the ground for self defense and cower behind some sort of shelf. By the end of it, when one side wins, they get me to come out with my hands up and give me a TV show deal for my troubles.

June 10th, 2022

For whatever reason, I am a dragon-man. The society I live in is ruled by corrupt elites. In order for someone to contest a law that they want to pass, they must convince a coliseum full of elites and their cronies on their own. If they cannot convince the coliseum, they're put in prison. The elites are attempting to pass a law that outlaws all mildly explicit content due to the fact that younger people may discover it. I go to the coliseum to contest the law, but they keep twisting my words on purpose, and I get so frustrated that I end up resigning to my fate and telling them to just put me in the prison. The jail cell is surprisingly high quality, with a large comfortable bed (supposedly for couples), two bunk beds and one "bed" that is just a blanket laid over a block of wood. I choose that bed, hoping my cellmates will think of me as polite and spare me from any fighting.

May 11th, 2022

Go to a party with some friends. Get really drunk off vodka. I meet someone new, he's big and tall with curly blonde hair. We talk back and forth, I don't remember anything we were saying but I know it was an enjoyable conversation.

April 18th, 2022

At a school with a friend. A zombie apocalypse breaks out. The school takes the opportunity to turn it into a game similar to manhunt. We're only allowed to run off a certain distance from the school. The apocalypse is split into three "waves", and if we survive them all then we win. I buddy up with the friend from before, he got snacks from a corner store. We run to the border, which is a raised path with a forest on either side. On one end of the road is a lake, I try to look for frogs by the lakeside but slip. There's jaggedy broken logs beneath me, and I try to get a grip on the path but the surface is made of gravel and slips between my fingers. My friend notices and grabs me by the wrist, pulling me back up on the path. We walk to a shopping centre and go to refill on snacks. (apparently we had eaten them all, though I have no memory of that) An alarm sounds, signifying wave 2. Some people begin to throw rocks at the window. The windows shatter loudly and I nearly get hit with a rock, then run out of the store, abandoning my friend. An alarm sounds, signifying wave 3. I'm running through a forest, it's nighttime and it's raining. I enter a field, but the grass beneath my feet has turned into a dense mush, similar to duckweed. I'm exhausted and trip and fall into the mush. I can barely get up, clawing at the ground to move forward. Someone in a bright construction vest walks up to me and asks if I'm okay, but I don't answer, I just keep dragging myself through the muck. I manage to get up and sprint, running all the way to the border road.

March 27th, 2022

My girlfriend is a robot. I stick cute little stickers onto her metal exoskeleton. She doesn't seem to care, given that she does not feel emotion.

February 1st, 2022

We're on a cruise. My mom purchased a pet spider monkey. I keep getting taller throughout the whole dream, to the point I have to bend over to stand in the cruise.

January 16th, 2022

I'm eating chicken nuggets. The first one I eat tastes a little weird, so I break open another one and see it's slightly pink on the inside. I begin to break more open, and they get progressively more raw. I look deeper into the box of chicken nuggets and notice that some of the chicken nuggets are just raw flesh and viscera with some scraps of breading over them.

This is the end of the dream journal entries. Thanks for reading!