The character you see all over this site, and it's namesake, is Clownfred! He's my internet persona, and I've used him to represent myself since September 2020. He's a representation of my more extroverted and social side, and is a bit of an amalgamation of things that I enjoy. His current design is based off of glam metal, I've always loved the androgynous look of 80s hair metal bands!

Circuses, especially freak-shows, were often a way to make a spectacle of those that are different from others. Whether it be through race, culture, disability, body modification, just general bodily differences, etc. Disabled people especially were affected by freak-shows, and while they existed to create a mockery of them, it was also a way for disabled people to earn money in a time where not many options were available for them. While I am mostly physically abled, I have certainly been other-ed in my life due to my autism, ADHD, and mental illness. I've been asked many times why I am the way that I am, or have been treated like a spectacle, or a dehumanized object of admiration. My connection to clowns and usage of a clown as my persona is one of manys way to reclaim this part of myself, and to take control over it. Noone asks a clown why they are the way that they are, they just are!

I can distinctly remember as a kid going to a circus and seeing the clown performances, and being extremely fascinated as well as inspired by their ability to make the crowd laugh seemingly effortlessly. I also remember after the act one of the clowns handing out balloons, and being a very shy kid it was very difficult to go up to ask for one, but he was extremely sweet to me and didn't treat me any different due to my inability to speak which I wasn't used to. It made a lasting mark on me ever since.

The whole killer clown mass hysteria was popular around puberty for me, which cemented my affection for clowns. Part of it was teen angst, but another part was a connection to the odd and the unknown. Something innocuous from childhood being warped and widely disliked and feared. Obviously appealing to an edgelord middle schooler who wanted to differentiate themselves.

Some facts about Clownfred:
He is 2/5 auguste clown, 2/5 pierrot mime, and 1/5 scare clown!
He has prescription glasses, but won't wear them because they "look dorky"
He's afraid of cats, and has a general dislike toward them
He can time travel, but is really bad at it and often ends up slightly off

He's gone through a good few design changes over time. His current design was made November of 2022!

If you ever feel compelled to make art of him, there's a reference image below! You can click to enlarge it to full size. You can also email me for more information or if you have any questions. I keep all the art people make of him and my characters. :0]